Even before the conception of you little bundle of joy, you already have made plans for your offspring deep in your heart. Perhaps the plan consisted of a world that you yourself are a part of, the world of professionals; a doctor, a lawyer or a CEO of a large company. Possibly you saw your little child to set foot somewhere that you yourself have once dreamed of being; a rock star, the next Picasso, or an astronaut residing in the satellites of Mars. The reality is that you are not alone in this quest to hone your kids into something great. Every parent wants to see their child succeed; but sometimes your children will have different dreams for themselves.
One of the first signs that change has occurred, may come when your once totally colored coordinated child runs down the stairs in what at first appears to be a collage of mass color confusion. As your heart suddenly sinks down into your stomach, you are barely able to scream out. In a voice normally reserved for intruders, you verbally march your pre-teen back up the stairs to change into the descent clothing purchased during the last shopping trip. What you have just witnessed is your child’s first stand for independence. It won’t be the last!
The fact is, this strange manifestation of independence, is really what you want to see in your growing child. It is part of the process. Someone once wrote that parents should strive to give their children roots so they can develop wings. This saying implies that parents need to concentrate on the building blocks to real character that will allow the child to become a strong adult. Values such as respect for your fellow man and right and wrong give children strong internal skills. Stressing consequences for their actions and developing age appropriate house rules go a long way to planting the roots that will go deep enough for the child to take off on his own wings.
When your child feels free to develop their own clothing styles to wear, it shows a couple of good things: it is a sign of leadership; it says that they are comfortable with themselves, and it says that they have developed a mind of their own and not just getting into fads. A parent who sees their child taking steps toward independence should be ready to give this child a pat on their back.
That being said, there are some clothing issues that might need to be discussed ahead of time before your house turns into a battle ground regarding clothing issues. As you are able to observe the apparel of your child’s friends, bring up any dislikes for that particular fashion should your child decide to adopt them. Make sure that you are able to explain to your child the reason and make it a point to make them understand that you are not comfortable seeing them in those clothes – always try to resolve clothing issues in a calm manner. Be open-minded about style changes, as you definitely came to experience, every generation comes with a new style.
Dorthy Weatherbush has had rebellious teenagers who have wanted to dress themselves. That’s why she let them shop at the Justice For Girls. With her daughters she was always able to find clothing that they could all agree on at the Limited Too.
